worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just want to make out with him forever
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
