that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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