why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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