we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
