i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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