he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
