is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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