this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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