I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you didnt know i had herpes?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My penis needs a shock collar
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
