What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
