No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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