it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
