WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
