I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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