I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
