she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
