Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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