I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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