Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
