On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
