I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
