piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
