The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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