This is not my ceiling
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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