and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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