Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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