Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
