You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
