guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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