maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
