We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
