who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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