I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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