i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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