We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We got so high we made milksteak
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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