Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
