im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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