508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
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