Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
pop tarts are not kleenex
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
