After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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