drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
