If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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