Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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