areolas are like halos for boobs.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize