I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Everclear isn't food dammit
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
there is puke in my bra ... again
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