I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
