My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
