Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
