I only kidnapped one of them. chill
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
