2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
