Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
