hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
