So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
