If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
