Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
