I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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