i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
